Unseen Expectations

Usually I hate Mothers Day. More specifically I hate any holiday that celebrates my Mother. Not because I don't love Mom or want to express that love, but because of unseen expectations. While some expectations may come from the individual being celebrated, not all of them do. In fact a decent amount of them come from me, myself, and I, with a second helping coming from being part of a large family. Having a lot of siblings can be great, but when holidays come around it's like trying to herd cats into a pond.

"Look at the lilies of the field" Matt 6:25-34

For some reason, even though we're mostly adults we still do group gifts for the parentals. Maybe it's because they are so hard to shop for, maybe it's to keep us from competing with one another, or maybe it's because we have a larger budget. I'm honestly not sure why we still do, just that we do. And if I thought it was hard finding consensus on a movie as a child, little did I know what was in store for the holidays. Everyone has an opinion, even if you were previously ambivalent, as soon as someone opens their mouth, you have an opinion. That's not to say they're all wrong opinions, or that I'm any different, just that everyone's input once requested has to be heard. And this is where I often get into trouble because the reality is, finding the perfect gift or plan that pleases everyone is pretty much impossible. And so we come to a life lesson that I struggle with, it's ok to not be perfect. I know, with dyslexia and how clumsy I am you'd think I had learn that already. What can I say, I'm a slow learner.

This Mothers Day highlighted that imperfection is ok. With Covid many of our usual shopping haunts were closed and the stores that are open, don't have the usual plethora of goods. Despite this, my sister bravely ventured out and created a simple but thoughtful gift. "We tried" became the theme for the day and Mom graciously went with it. The fancy breakfast we planned had to change due to a missing ingredient, our main celebration ended by 8:30 am because my sister had to catch a plane. Lunch was scrounged up leftovers thrown together to create some form of substance; while the Mother's Day card was forgotten and not presented until dessert at 8pm. (It was forgotten when we gave gifts, once we realized we did plan when to give it.)

"...even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed
 like one of these" Matt 6:25-34

In some ways, yesterday was a throw back to the old days when we'd sharpen sticks and glue on smooth pieces of glass as "jewels" to create something to show our parents we cared. Although Mom didn't have to scrape a jar's worth of jam off her toast to eat it... Which gets us to the root, Mom was extremely flexible with our failed plans and misguided attempts to express our appreciation as children. She loved us even when we caramelized the oatmeal or made frosting that came out like cement. This Mothers Day I was able to let go and bask in this relationship. As a result I experienced one of the most relaxing holidays I've had in years. To put it another way, instead of being Martha I was able to be Mary (Luke 10:38-42).

And who knows, if I continue not this path, maybe I'll even get to the point where I don't feel like strangling at least one family member every holiday!