Life Moments

                                                                                                         Some moments are complicated, like scheduling doctors appointments or dealing with car insurance. While others are as simple as following your younger sister around, picking flowers for a bouquet. 

Relish the simple interactions, they are the ones you won't want to forget.

Unseen Expectations

Usually I hate Mothers Day. More specifically I hate any holiday that celebrates my Mother. Not because I don't love Mom or want to express that love, but because of unseen expectations. While some expectations may come from the individual being celebrated, not all of them do. In fact a decent amount of them come from me, myself, and I, with a second helping coming from being part of a large family. Having a lot of siblings can be great, but when holidays come around it's like trying to herd cats into a pond.

"Look at the lilies of the field" Matt 6:25-34

For some reason, even though we're mostly adults we still do group gifts for the parentals. Maybe it's because they are so hard to shop for, maybe it's to keep us from competing with one another, or maybe it's because we have a larger budget. I'm honestly not sure why we still do, just that we do. And if I thought it was hard finding consensus on a movie as a child, little did I know what was in store for the holidays. Everyone has an opinion, even if you were previously ambivalent, as soon as someone opens their mouth, you have an opinion. That's not to say they're all wrong opinions, or that I'm any different, just that everyone's input once requested has to be heard. And this is where I often get into trouble because the reality is, finding the perfect gift or plan that pleases everyone is pretty much impossible. And so we come to a life lesson that I struggle with, it's ok to not be perfect. I know, with dyslexia and how clumsy I am you'd think I had learn that already. What can I say, I'm a slow learner.

This Mothers Day highlighted that imperfection is ok. With Covid many of our usual shopping haunts were closed and the stores that are open, don't have the usual plethora of goods. Despite this, my sister bravely ventured out and created a simple but thoughtful gift. "We tried" became the theme for the day and Mom graciously went with it. The fancy breakfast we planned had to change due to a missing ingredient, our main celebration ended by 8:30 am because my sister had to catch a plane. Lunch was scrounged up leftovers thrown together to create some form of substance; while the Mother's Day card was forgotten and not presented until dessert at 8pm. (It was forgotten when we gave gifts, once we realized we did plan when to give it.)

"...even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed
 like one of these" Matt 6:25-34

In some ways, yesterday was a throw back to the old days when we'd sharpen sticks and glue on smooth pieces of glass as "jewels" to create something to show our parents we cared. Although Mom didn't have to scrape a jar's worth of jam off her toast to eat it... Which gets us to the root, Mom was extremely flexible with our failed plans and misguided attempts to express our appreciation as children. She loved us even when we caramelized the oatmeal or made frosting that came out like cement. This Mothers Day I was able to let go and bask in this relationship. As a result I experienced one of the most relaxing holidays I've had in years. To put it another way, instead of being Martha I was able to be Mary (Luke 10:38-42).

And who knows, if I continue not this path, maybe I'll even get to the point where I don't feel like strangling at least one family member every holiday!

Not So Secret Garden

Bathroom greenhouse

Today's post is about "'leadership'". Just kidding, it's actually about one of our family group projects, gardening. Our gardening exploits so far this spring have come in a variety of phases, from Dad creating herb planters out old cement pipes; to my sister planting the garden with plants Mom got from the hardware store, to my other sister helping me plant some seeds. So far everyone has found some time to play in the dirt.

Cement her planter

The initial surge in gardening was partly boredom, partly because one of my sisters is taking plant science, and partly irritation that grocery stores were running out of food. In other words we were skirting the border that leads too crazy prepper territory. You needn't fear though, since I spearheaded half the effort after the initial surge, the momentum has died down.

Proof the seedlings were once happy

The seeds which started out strong growing in our bathroom (it was cold outside, ok), have started to droop and look pathetic as they hold out hope they will be planted soon. However all is not lost, the corn did get put in the ground recently, as did the beans. The reason the rest of the baby plants haven't made it to the garden is that we do not enough space on the current drip line. Hopefully we'll remedy this soon and plant the tender shoots before they kick the bucket. While I hate seeing work go to waste, (yes, I know it's the reoccurring state of my garden) we have tons of seeds we can replant with. Apparently I have this habit of buying more seeds before using the ones I already had.

I have a problem...

Moving on from my charming quirks, my "plan" is to plant what we have and then see where and what else we might be able to grow. The coming weeks will show how the transplanting went an if any more of our baby plants made it to the garden before giving up the ghost.

Reverting to Childhood

Since the extended down time, we've picked up a variety of projects at the old Home Stead. My personal projects have included updating this blog and starting some seeds to plant in the garden. I've even been creating simple videos to encourage a friend to exercise every day! (These quality films basically consist of my voice rattling off exercises with an image of something like the dogs, or my little sister smiling.)

But not all the projects have been individually driven. The seeds have become more of a group project and we've played several board games over the past weeks.  One of my sisters even dug out a 3D Cinderella puzzle I bought for her years ago. Turns out, I'm really, really, extra bad at 3D puzzles. I spent an hour staring at the pieces and put about two together. My sister meanwhile put together the foundation to build the castle on. A couple days after we broke the puzzle out of its hibernation, sister number two sits down and starts putting pieces together during a study break. In those 10 minutes she connected  a bunch of the pieces I had stared at for over an hour!

Suffice to say, between work/school, reading ('cause who doesn't love books), photosynthesizing, and other random activities we've stayed pretty occupied. However, you can never have too much to do when you're sitting at home with time on your hands. Or so my family seems to think, which is why on Wednesday night I came in from a walk to discover that one of my brothers had brought over a giant, awesome, Lego pirate ship. After dinner the box was opened and building commenced. It is interesting, some things have remained the same while other aspects have changed from the Lego pirates of my childhood. The faces, shirts and even the Jolly Roger are different, while the muskets, cutlasses, and rowboat have remained the same. Oddly enough the most disturbing change so far (other than the pastel base) is the palm-tree trunks. I don't know why, I love the fronds, but the trunks are so foreign to what I remember it weirds me out.

I must add, Lego has gotten very kind in recent years and numbers the bags to make finding pieces for each section easier. Perhaps this isn't a new development and I just ignored such fantastic organization as a child; but I absolutely love it as an adult. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that if I had children I might be the devil parent who mixes all the pieces up in a bowl and makes the kids go fishing to find what they need...

Now that you know how we're maintaining shreds of sanity, what toys or games did you enjoy playing with as a kid? Do you have any fun projects in the works? If not I challenge you consider digging through the attic and revisiting some of those old joys. While we can't fully go back to our childhood (to the relief of some) there's nothing wrong with occasionally embracing childlike joy and innocence.

Speaking of children, this blog post (#grownup-homework?) is done which means, I get to go play in the Legos!!!

Communal Paradox

Somedays life throws you for a loop, totally disrupting your grand plans. Case in point, I had planned on doing at least one blog post over the weekend, and then family. It's a funny concept family, you love them and can have some great moments with them, and then there are the days when you need to be there for them, often at the most inconvenient times. And I'm not just talking biological family, but all of those friends who have breached the outer circle of casual acquaintance. In short, I am talking about community.

My second year as an intern at Mount Hermon we (my fellow interns and I living in the same house) had some differences we had to process through before we could become a semi healthy one. For some this processing brought nothing but pain, for others frustration, while still others were started on a road too healing. Once the upheaval and dust settled, normal routines were established and life settled down into the occasional scuffles and humdrum that accompany the everyday. For me, it was a uniquely intense glimpse of the stages communities go through. The biggest thing I learned was that community can be hell. It's dirty, and messy, and while it brings great joy and comradery and can also inflict deep pain. Community is not an idealistic picture of sunshine and rainbows where everyone gets along all the time. As pleasant as that would be, it's not true to human nature. Community requires hard decisions, but in order for a community, or a relationship to survive, there has to be resolution at some point. Complete conflict will destroy a community as easily as constant compromise.

Perhaps it is the influence of a coworker but I am becoming increasingly convinced that compromise, while one possible outcome of resolution, isn't always the answer. And that is what makes community such a mire. The only way it works is through a mix of standing up for your well being and beliefs while also surrendering your will and well being to serve those around you.

Paradox noun a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigate or explained may prove to be well founded and true. 

For those who have gotten to experience healthy community you know what a gift it is. Cherish it while you have it. For those who feel it is missing, (which may be higher than normal with everyone being kept home) keep searching, It may be work, but it is also a jewel of great price.

Church on Thursday

Yesterday was Maunday Thursday, or the day of the Last Supper. Tradition states that Jesus was celebrating Passover with his disciples the night of his arrest (Luke 22:7-15). During this meal Jesus changed the focus of the covenant to point to Himself as longed for Messiah and the sacrificial lamb. It is from this shift that Christians get the concept for communion (Luke 22:17-20).

Many churches hold a special communion service on the Thursday before Easter Sunday, some even go a step further and hold a Seder Supper to give Gentiles an idea of what Jesus and his disciples were celebrating and how much Jesus deviated from the traditional formula. Of course with social distancing dipping bread into a shared cup for communion is a no-no. So we decided as a family to do a nod toward Passover and make a Seder plate. (Apologies on any incorrect terminology that is used.)

May I just say the internet has an overwhelming amount of information on celebrating Passover. In the end I gave up and settled on the simplest explanations and recipes I could find. The next challenge, once the brain melt down subsided, was that we didn't have all the ingredients. Since we couldn't go to the store we had to get, uh creative... Petty sure some of our creativity would have made anyone who is actually Jewish cry, but we tried and had fun attempting...

Imagine it, three sisters cooking in a small space, swerving around one another as they try to make new dishes so the family could have a memorable meal. Music blasts from the table as the parents are busy with phone calls and chores in adjoining rooms. Eventually the oldest sister tired from work goes and rests until the food is finished. In other words a snapshot of community.

The meal itself wasn't quite what I had anticipated. As a kid the few times we attended a Seder supper at Church I remember an "expert" walking us through the entire meal, and while it was a fun experience there was also a seriousness to it. Last night however, serious scholarship or observation was not part of the tone at all.

In all fairness, I did give up on trying to understand the plethora of steps to Passover and settled for sentence long explanations for each item on the plate. After the symbolic explanations we ate and read excerpts from Exodus 13. Throughout the meal there was the usual joking and noise that comes with one of our family dinners. By the time that was done, my youngest sister (who is special needs and eats separately since she can't feed herself) had enough sitting and decided it was time to get down. Of course it is at this point, as I'm finishing my food, that I realized we hadn't gotten to the New Testament portion of the evening. So in the midst of dishes and people coming in and out of the room the familiar words of 1 Cor 11:23-26 were finally read.

Picture perfect food, somber learning in the midst of stillness are wonderful ideals. But reality tends to be a little more noisy and messy. Good food, good conversation, a bit of Scripture, last night on Maunday Thursday, in the midst of all the chaos, there was Church.

Menagerie

Amilia Suzanous in her natural habitat.

Suzi’s time at the zoo is almost up. Despite my noble ambition I have not kept up with her adventures as I intended. Fear not I have one more post before the Amilia Suzanous is seen no more.

Most of her time is spent in the “petting zoo” area. They no longer have the one eyed pony that I remember, but there’s an assortment of rabbits, a guinea pig, a hen and an actual pig that likes to nibble on your shoes that you can pet all for the crazy cost of $1. (Come on people the zoo itself is like $3. Talk about a cheap entertainment.)

Working at the zoo is never boring; first there are the other volunteers, mostly high school students looking to get volunteer hours, with a smattering of adults who just like working at the zoo. Then there are the employees, many of whom apparently double dip and also work at the Fresno zoo. The two groups have created a summer camaraderie of good natured teasing and messing with each other that comes with youthful high spirits and hours of working together.

In addition to the petting zoo Suzi has cleaned cages, measured meals, fed animals, dredged bathrooms (I don’t think they didn’t realize what they were unleashing), and gotten muddy head-to-toe transplanting flowers. She did however resist the urge to startle patrons and clearly announced her presence in the tall stems whenever anyone got close.

There was even an incident where a woman was escorted off the premises, like I said, never a dull moment.

But the best part of Suzi working at the zoo, are the stories she tells about the animals as you take the tour. Each cage has a tale to go with it.  For example the tortoises are surprisingly picky and will snub their food if it’s not the vegetable of their choice.

Melon, the eyes say it all.

Melon, one of the emu’s has a creepy way of coming up behind you and looking over your shoulder while cleaning the cage.

And of course the UC Merced mascot Boomer (a bobcat) resides at the zoo. (UCM is my current employer ergo this important to know.)

If you want a personalized tour that includes names and stories of the animals, or just want to watch a small pig try to eat your toes, take this Monday/Tuesday off and visit Suzi at the Merced Zoo.

Suzi, Zoo Exhibit A

Ladies and Gentlemen you can now see the one and only Suzanne Alvernaz at the zoo! I kid you not folks this rare popular attraction is at the Merced Zoo two days a week. Don’t miss this opportunity to see her in her natural habitat.

Horribly photo manipulation I know. All I had were
Paint and Publisher, & refining was taking too long.
This an altered picture.
In case you missed that...

Seriously though, my little sister is at the zoo. She’s volunteering their part time this summer. She says she’s an “animal janitor.” But I know it hasn't been all stinky, here’s the tidbits I know; she’s fed hissing cockroaches (fun…not), the miniature foxes like to run up the sides of their cage (apparently this can be a startling if you’re not expecting it), and one of the monkey’s broke a hip.

But the best thing so far was when she cemented this blog post. Last night sh was talking to a friend and said, “you can come see me at the zoo!” I’d already been thinking of using that line for this post but when she said it, the tiny thought that might be “mean” evaporated. Of course she instantly started laughing and protesting “that’s not what I mean”, but we all know the truth.

I’m hoping to get some more good stories out of her this summer. If I do I will post them here for your entertainment and enjoyment. If you’re looking for something to do you should pop in and say hi. She’s there  in the afternoon on Tuesday and Wednesday. 

After all it’s not every day you personally know a zoo specimen.