Unseen Expectations

Usually I hate Mothers Day. More specifically I hate any holiday that celebrates my Mother. Not because I don't love Mom or want to express that love, but because of unseen expectations. While some expectations may come from the individual being celebrated, not all of them do. In fact a decent amount of them come from me, myself, and I, with a second helping coming from being part of a large family. Having a lot of siblings can be great, but when holidays come around it's like trying to herd cats into a pond.

"Look at the lilies of the field" Matt 6:25-34

For some reason, even though we're mostly adults we still do group gifts for the parentals. Maybe it's because they are so hard to shop for, maybe it's to keep us from competing with one another, or maybe it's because we have a larger budget. I'm honestly not sure why we still do, just that we do. And if I thought it was hard finding consensus on a movie as a child, little did I know what was in store for the holidays. Everyone has an opinion, even if you were previously ambivalent, as soon as someone opens their mouth, you have an opinion. That's not to say they're all wrong opinions, or that I'm any different, just that everyone's input once requested has to be heard. And this is where I often get into trouble because the reality is, finding the perfect gift or plan that pleases everyone is pretty much impossible. And so we come to a life lesson that I struggle with, it's ok to not be perfect. I know, with dyslexia and how clumsy I am you'd think I had learn that already. What can I say, I'm a slow learner.

This Mothers Day highlighted that imperfection is ok. With Covid many of our usual shopping haunts were closed and the stores that are open, don't have the usual plethora of goods. Despite this, my sister bravely ventured out and created a simple but thoughtful gift. "We tried" became the theme for the day and Mom graciously went with it. The fancy breakfast we planned had to change due to a missing ingredient, our main celebration ended by 8:30 am because my sister had to catch a plane. Lunch was scrounged up leftovers thrown together to create some form of substance; while the Mother's Day card was forgotten and not presented until dessert at 8pm. (It was forgotten when we gave gifts, once we realized we did plan when to give it.)

"...even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed
 like one of these" Matt 6:25-34

In some ways, yesterday was a throw back to the old days when we'd sharpen sticks and glue on smooth pieces of glass as "jewels" to create something to show our parents we cared. Although Mom didn't have to scrape a jar's worth of jam off her toast to eat it... Which gets us to the root, Mom was extremely flexible with our failed plans and misguided attempts to express our appreciation as children. She loved us even when we caramelized the oatmeal or made frosting that came out like cement. This Mothers Day I was able to let go and bask in this relationship. As a result I experienced one of the most relaxing holidays I've had in years. To put it another way, instead of being Martha I was able to be Mary (Luke 10:38-42).

And who knows, if I continue not this path, maybe I'll even get to the point where I don't feel like strangling at least one family member every holiday!

Reverting to Childhood

Since the extended down time, we've picked up a variety of projects at the old Home Stead. My personal projects have included updating this blog and starting some seeds to plant in the garden. I've even been creating simple videos to encourage a friend to exercise every day! (These quality films basically consist of my voice rattling off exercises with an image of something like the dogs, or my little sister smiling.)

But not all the projects have been individually driven. The seeds have become more of a group project and we've played several board games over the past weeks.  One of my sisters even dug out a 3D Cinderella puzzle I bought for her years ago. Turns out, I'm really, really, extra bad at 3D puzzles. I spent an hour staring at the pieces and put about two together. My sister meanwhile put together the foundation to build the castle on. A couple days after we broke the puzzle out of its hibernation, sister number two sits down and starts putting pieces together during a study break. In those 10 minutes she connected  a bunch of the pieces I had stared at for over an hour!

Suffice to say, between work/school, reading ('cause who doesn't love books), photosynthesizing, and other random activities we've stayed pretty occupied. However, you can never have too much to do when you're sitting at home with time on your hands. Or so my family seems to think, which is why on Wednesday night I came in from a walk to discover that one of my brothers had brought over a giant, awesome, Lego pirate ship. After dinner the box was opened and building commenced. It is interesting, some things have remained the same while other aspects have changed from the Lego pirates of my childhood. The faces, shirts and even the Jolly Roger are different, while the muskets, cutlasses, and rowboat have remained the same. Oddly enough the most disturbing change so far (other than the pastel base) is the palm-tree trunks. I don't know why, I love the fronds, but the trunks are so foreign to what I remember it weirds me out.

I must add, Lego has gotten very kind in recent years and numbers the bags to make finding pieces for each section easier. Perhaps this isn't a new development and I just ignored such fantastic organization as a child; but I absolutely love it as an adult. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that if I had children I might be the devil parent who mixes all the pieces up in a bowl and makes the kids go fishing to find what they need...

Now that you know how we're maintaining shreds of sanity, what toys or games did you enjoy playing with as a kid? Do you have any fun projects in the works? If not I challenge you consider digging through the attic and revisiting some of those old joys. While we can't fully go back to our childhood (to the relief of some) there's nothing wrong with occasionally embracing childlike joy and innocence.

Speaking of children, this blog post (#grownup-homework?) is done which means, I get to go play in the Legos!!!