I had a really clever way to start this, but I can’t
remember it now. That’s what I get for waiting several days before typing.
I visited Santa Cruz last Tuesday for a fantastic day of
Redwoods, ocean, acai, chilling, mudslides, Harry Potter, and friends. Needless
to say I was rather tired at the end of my 8 hour shift Wed. My faithful
friends were very kind in allowing me to affirm my coming last minute. Why last
minute? Because my family was going to Disneyland, (well over half of them
anyway) and I wanted to go.
It was a rather last minute trip in itself. Mom started
planning the day after Christmas, trying to figure out logistics. Last
Tuesday’s dental appointments threw a kink in the plan that couldn’t be worked
out until less than a week before the launch making it impossible for me to get
time off from work. The thought of not getting to experience Disneyland with my
sisters yet again was bitter. After expressing my displeasure Sunday (before I
went to Santa Cruz) Mom threw me a bone mentioning they were going to be back
in Disneyland Monday and part of Tuesday before heading home.
My hopes soared; maybe, just maybe I could get Monday off
and get to join them for a glorious day of fantastic adventure. I texted my
manager on her day off to ask; I would have ignored it, but she responded
promptly and next thing I knew I had it off! Watch out Disneyland here I
come!!!!!!!!
I was on a high, pure joy that lasted approximately 10
minutes. Then I started thinking and became a little dissatisfied, if I didn’t
have the Sunday Morning kid programs I could have had more time. More time for
ME. More time with my FAMILY. More time to CHILL. I was done at 4 pm Saturday, if only…..
Ridiculous! I’d just been given an unexpected, priceless gift and I wasn’t
satisfied, I wanted more. After all I
deserved more. I’ve worked hard and faithfully, and I just need a break. Maybe
I could make it work; maybe I could shuffle things around???
Almost as soon as I thought it I realized the problem, but
it still irked me. Even as I laughed, I didn’t want to give up on the dream; I
wanted to fix things to make what I thought was best for me. It might have
worked, part of me still wonders, but I realized I needed to surrender my
schedule and trust the One who made me with it. The alternative was stress and
frustration.
So here I sit, Saturday night. Tomorrow after Church I’m
catching a train to head down south. I won’t get in as early as I’d like, but its
ok. I have time to get things, like packing, done. And I’m not dumping my responsibilities
on others causing them stress. Added bonus, I got to hang out and chat with
Aunt Judy tonight, and I think I might get to catch a quick bite with my
brother for lunch tomorrow. Extra presents that were definitely not part of my “plan”.
In order to have peace, contentment and enjoy my trip, I had
to give over. My plan was to write this on the train. But Mom says pack light,
so I’m leaving my comp and writing tonight.
Dude, I’m on my way to Disneyland!